There are at least 50 shades of guilt. You may recognise it as the experience of a weight on your shoulders or a discomfort in the pit of your stomach. You may be carrying one of the following stories:
- Not being able to care for a parent when you had promised not to put them in a home
- Having to put your child in nursery because you have to go back to work
- Not being at your parent’s bedside when they died
- Or one I hear recently, you were even made to feel guilty for something you hadn’t even done.
Whatever the reason it always relates to something that has happened, so it’s in the past.
And because we can’t change the past, people believe that the way they feel can’t change either.
However if you consider that statement you will realise that feelings do change.
How feelings change?
It’s not the passing of time that makes the difference, but the things that happen during that time. Those things determine whether the feelings change for the better or for worse.
One of the things that can happen is that you get some information that enables you to have a different perspective. For example you might get angry that someone cuts you up in the car. Then you learn they wanted to get to the hospital because their child had had and accident. Your anger will probably dissipate immediately.
So what information do you need about your situation to help you release the weight of the guilt you are feeling?
Well, here are 3 to start you off:
- The fact that guilt is a gift. It’s giving you information about your values
- That it means you care about the person or situation the guilt relates to
- There are things you might be able to do to make amends, but you didn’t know how, or felt too scared of the consequence to take action at the time. May be you can do them now to feel free.
Still struggling and would like to delve deeper into the benefits of guilt and and what you can do about releasing it? I am developing a course/workshop to enable people to do this in a group rather than one to one with me.
It will be better values for two reasons:
- Firstly it will be more cost effective than having 6 hours one to one with me
- Secondly you will get ideas and the support from the group. Often we feel we are the only ones feeling and dealing with such issues, when in fact most people are struggling too. acknowledging that is very powerful in itself
I am running the beta workshop on 3 consecutive weeks for 2 hours. It is at a very discounted price in exchange for some feedback from participants so I can improve the workshop for others.
Venue: Natural therapy Centre, 5 Bibury Road, Swindon, SN3 1DD Date: 24, 31st Jan and 7th Feb 2020
Time: 7pm to 9pm
Value: £60 Early bird by 20th Jan £40
Workshop facilitator: Julie Nicholls
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Booking: Essential to avoid disappointment as places are limited to 4.